Three New Year’s Dating Resolutions
These strategies will help you find the right person
The majority of conversations with new clients in the past month have started the same: “That’s it,” she will exclaim. “I’m meeting my husband in 2020! I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Sound familiar? If you’ve also resolved to start the new decade by getting it right and finding your person, then you need to be strategic. I’ve narrowed it down to the three most important New Year’s dating resolutions that you need to instantly up your dating game and increase your chances of finding the right person.
New Year’s dating resolution #1: Reflect and learn from your past dating experiences
Did you have a hurtful experience in your last relationship? It’s important to reflect on what occurred and learn what you should do differently. Each relationship is an education, and it’ll help you discover who and what you want. You can (and should!) turn the pain into a positive – it’ll make you a better dater.
For example, if you fell in love after only a few dates and then he disappeared, take it slow with the next person you meet. If he came on too strong but you went with the flow only to feel smothered within a month, know that you need to set clear boundaries. If you only spent time with his friends and he never wanted to be with yours, then insist on mutual respect in your next relationship.
New Year’s dating resolution #2: Make dating your second job
To successfully find the right person will take work, and you need to dedicate the time to doing it right. You have to put yourself out there in several different ways. In addition to working with a matchmaker, you should be your own matchmaker. Make a list of what you should do each week and keep it next to your computer. One thing that should be on that weekly list is to reach out to two new people who could set you up with someone in their world. Let them know you’re single, in a great place, and ask if they know anyone who is available, serious about being in a relationship and may be a good match for you.
You also need to get outside of your comfort zone and be more social. Go out with friends, attend charity events, join organizations, anything that can put you in front of new people. Select restaurants that have a nice bar crowd and attract the type of men you prefer. Make it a point to get there 15-20 minutes early so you can go to the bar, have a drink and flirt. When joining an organization, select ones that interest you so you can find someone who shares your hobbies or passions.
New Year’s dating resolution #3: Date smarter
Every day brings a new opportunity to meet someone, but you should always put your best foot forward. Even if you’re taking a 6:00 a.m. flight, be well-rested and look your best. You never know, the couple sitting next to you on that plane may be the ones who introduce you to your future husband. If you see a cute guy in the subway or while grabbing coffee, look his way, catch his eye, and smile. And if you’re standing next to him, ask him if he’s ever eaten here before, if he lives close by, etc., anything to start a conversation. Be confident and engaging, but never aggressive.
Become more open to men who approach you or that you’ve been set up with for a date. Don’t write them off immediately because you’re not instantly attracted to them. A guy may not be tall, dark and handsome or look great in a picture, but he may light up a room with his charm, make you laugh until you cry, and be a wonderful man. Get to know each person you come in contact with before making a decision. Trust me on this one I’ve successfully paired so many couples, and getting to know a person can make them more attractive.
And, most importantly, stay positive because it will happen. If you live by these three resolutions, by the end of the year you may find yourself spending your first of many holidays with that one special person.