Dating Red Flags: How to Know If He’s Not Marriage Material
It takes a while to really get to know someone. The first three months are like a honeymoon, and you’re both on your best behavior. He’s perfect, you’re perfect. You feel like you’ve found the one.….then the love dust settles and reality sets in. Hey, no one is perfect. But now it’s time to meet the real person and make some decisions. What can you live with? What might be a deal breaker? Is he quirky but adorable?
Be smart. Be on your toes. Look, listen, and take note. Are there warning signs? If you can check off more than three of these red flags in any area, then it’s time to hit the road!
Dating red flag: He lacks appropriate, or any, communication skills
Some guys really aren’t great communicators, but if he’s truly interested, he’s going to make the effort to get to know you. Think about how he communicates. It’s important to talk on the phone to really get to know someone. A relationship cannot exist on texting alone. If he won’t call you, it’s not going to work.
If you do talk, does he ever share his feelings? Or, does he talk so much that you feel like you’ve become his therapist? If he overshares and doesn’t seem healthy and positive, these are red flags!
Dating red flag: You are never a priority
For the first date, he took you out on a Tuesday night. Last week, he took you out on Wednesday. And when the weekend arrives, he never seems to be available. If you find yourself feeling confused and disappointed, that’s a red flag.
Or, if he calls you at the last minute to “grab a bite” and never makes the effort to plan a date ahead of time, that’s a red flag. Has it been a few months and you haven’t been introduced to any of his friends? Another red flag!
If he doesn’t make you feel special or cherished when you’re together, then he’s not the guy for you. If, after several months of dating, he’s planning another vacation with his buddies instead of you, he’s never going to put you first.
Dating red flag: He’s too self-centered
If your new guy is very into himself, how can he also be into you? When you’re with someone who thinks very highly of himself and always puts himself and his needs before your own, that’s not going to change.
If you’re not sure whether or not this guy seems like a narcissist, listen carefully to what he says. These men believe they are superior to everyone else. They lack empathy for others and can’t see past themselves. This is a major red flag – run!
Be Brave, Be Strong
Knowing the red flags and getting out of the relationship early is empowering and will save you a lot of time and heartache. At first, it can be tricky to walk away from someone who looks good on paper, but the more you do it, the more confident you’ll become.
Quickly rejecting the wrong guys will bring you closer to finding the right one. You deserve a man who will love you, treat you well, and put you first. When you find him, there will be no flags in sight.